Steven's Random Corner of Nothingness

Steven's Random Corner of Nothingness

(Out of curiosity, I wanted to see if #SRCN is a hashtag for something. It is, for some Christian Radio Network, so I guess I won't hashtag my random blogs...)

This may be my last official posting that I can get a bunch of people to come and check out my blog through my chiefly stuff at Wake. If you all like my posts, feel free to subscribe to this family blog. This is a nice, fun outlet to just get things off my brain and say what is on my mind, and I know there are a few of you out there that read this kind of rambling when I post it, so... I may continue it. Again, thoughts and feelings are my own, of course. Leave if you must, but stay if you can. :D

So, first random, then fun, then deepness.

Random

Afib with RVR on a FitBit!

I don't read research papers as religiously as I probably should (wifey and I lovingly refer to the Annals as the Anals of Emergency Medicine... I can't help myself), but I found this actually through another blog that I frequent.

Apparently a dude came in after seizing (known history of epilepsy), but his heart rate shot up, and was controlled with diltiazem. After reviewing the patient's FitBit data, it was obvious that he had this sudden onset of afib with RVR in the last several hours, and was successfully defibrillated in the ER. Kind of a cool use of the FitBit!

Golden State Warriors

Apparently my mom is a huge Golden State Warriors fan. I had no idea they won the NBA championship last year. I don't follow the NBA. But I'm moving to San Antonio, and apparently you have to be a Spurs fan there.

But my mom LOVES the Warriors. It's almost bizarre. But, she came out to visit us this last week, and made huge fans out of all of us by her enthusiasm. Apparently they are going for a record to beat the winning-est team in NBA history (the 1996-1997 Chicago Bulls, I think?). The Bulls had 72 wins in a regular season back in the day. Now the Warriors are tied with that amount, with one game left to play at home against Memphis. Their last game against San Antonio was a rager. Obviously I was a little torn between who to root for. I grew up around the Warriors (they pretty much sucked my whole life until now), and we're moving to San Antonio. But I couldn't root against my mom... Go Curry! That guy is insane...

Rogue One Teaser Trailer

Say what you want about Disney. They are squeezing every last penny out of their Star Wars franchise buy, but... more Star Wars in my life is never a bad thing. The new teaser trailer looks like a blast. I recommend you check it out. Should be pretty fun.

Fun

Home stitches

Well, I guess this is a weird thing to consider fun...

Last week, Juliette bailed right after we arrived at the park. She nailed her forehead, and had a decent lac, and was bleeding pretty good. No loss of consciousness, she was acting herself. So, I left Jamie and the kids at the park. (Apparently a lot of the other moms thought we were nuts. Juliette was just chilling on the swing, with gauze taped to her head and blood all over her shirt).

I gathered some stuffs, and picked up the kiddos. My wife helped hold and distract my little girl while I injected some lidocaine, and repaired her little laceration with 2 6-0 prolene stitches. And it went perfectly.

It's a.... baby!

We are having another baby, but we now know... it's a GIRL!

Everybody thought it would be a boy. It would fit the pattern (Girl-Boy-Girl-BOY) The popular (Facebook) opinion thought it would be a boy. But the universe had other plans. It's another girl. Which is great, because we have TONS of girl names that we love, and we only had one boy name we really liked. To distract my little boy from being bummed out, there were lots of sweets and balloons.

Charlie is just fine (for now)... A little hyperglycemic, but otherwise, totally fine.

Deepness (I have feelings. And opinions. You have been fairly warned)

I personally believe that we are all given different gifts. Through these gifts, different people are better at different things. I personally believe that these separate gifts are God-given, and are meant to help us appreciate and interact with those around us.

One gift that I have not had in my life is the gift of confidence. This has plagued me my entire life. It doesn't really make sense, either, I guess. On paper, I think I have done okay with my endeavors. I'm no genius, and I pale in comparison to many of my contemporaries. But... I did well with classes during high school (except AP government... I slept a lot in that class, and am pretty sure the teacher thought I smoked a lot of pot prior to coming to class. I actually had red eyes because I woke up at 5 am for church class every morning. I loved the irony). I did fine in college (I picked a Bioengineering major out of a list because... it sounded cool. Like something out of a science fiction novel). I knocked down the door to be accepted at Wake Forest for medical school. I matched well into residency. I just got my #1 choice of a job with the USAF working in San Antonio.

A lack of confidence has caused me to confuse hard work and occasional rejection as a reflection upon myself and my abilities. As Michael Scott is leaving The Office in Season 7, his character hands Andy a stack of file folders containing his 10 biggest clients. He tells him, "You sold us all on Andy... a product that none of us wanted." Hilarious, but I can also identify with that feeling. I was confused (and still am) by the schools I was accepted into and rejected from out of high school. When I initially applied to medical school, I only received one invitation to interview, and was quickly rejected (apparently it is standard to apply early and to more than 4 schools). I was wait-listed initially at Wake Forest for med school the next year that I applied. I graduated in the middle of my class in medical school, nowhere near the top of a group of insanely talented individuals. I matched into Wake Forest for residency, which, admittedly, was not my #1 choice (mostly because of location - most of our best friends had moved back to the west).

However, as I look back to each of these moments of potential hey-Steve-you-are-not-good-enough moments, I am grateful to see the direction that each of these moments have made in my life.

When I failed to get into medical school the first year, I had a very humbling year. It was during that time that we needed a home for 6 months and lived with our now-and-forever friends, the Nuckols, who opened their home to a wandering couple and their new baby. It was during that year that I worked as a medical assistant to two wonderful podiatrists, each examples of how one could survive in medicine and still be an amazing husband and father.

When I matched at Wake for residency, God knew it was the place I was meant to be. This became very obvious very quickly. The OB/GYN physicians that we stayed with carefully and skillfully were able to deliver our 3rd child, Juliette. My transition into intern year was smooth, and though it was hard work, I had a phenomenal year. I met and befriended several awesome co-residents, who will be my friends for the rest of my life (whether they like it or not).

As I ponder on not getting the things I thought I initially wanted, I realize I have been blessed to receive all the things I have needed. What a true blessing that has been.

One spiritual gift that I feel I have been given in abundance is the ability to appreciate the gifts in others - sometimes even when they do not see it themselves. I am grateful for this gift. At first, this kind of gift can have the potential to make one like the jealous Salieri portrayed in Amadeus, looking across at a more-talented Mozart. But as I look beyond myself, I realize that seeing the talents in others is a humbling experience, and helps me improve as an individual.

I think the first time this gift struck me was when I was serving a 2-year mission for my church. At that time, I was far away from home, as were all the other missionaries with whom I was serving. There was an amazing missionary who carried with him a ukulele everywhere he went. He would sing hymns on the subway in NYC with his instrument. It was awesome. His smile was radiant and contagious. He spoke of the love he had for others and for his faith, and especially of the love he had for his mother. Unfortunately, it was about 1 year into his 2 year mission that she passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. I heard him speak shortly afterwards to a group of other missionaries, and he quoted this verse of a now-favorite hymn titled, "How Firm a Foundation":

Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

I am grateful to this day for his faithfulness and his resolve, and since then I have tried to see the examples of greatness in others around me, which are readily apparent if one tries to look.

I have seen many examples of greatness in our residency program among our residents and among the great faculty. Many of my classmates have helped me out in times of need. In times of illness and family issues, my friends have stepped up to demonstrate the true meaning of selflessness and service. They covered for me without hesitation. I am grateful for their examples. I have seen others demonstrate resilience in their own difficult situations, continuing their hard work with determination and awesome attitudes. It is learning from the examples of others that encourages me to try harder, to try and be more selfless, to improve my attitude, and for those examples I am grateful.

If you feel anything like I do - if you doubt your abilities, if you feel insecure about anything - just consider what I firmly believe: We are given weaknesses to be made humble, and to become stronger. Reflect on those weaknesses as opportunities. Your life will be vastly better.

So, there. Boom. Feelings done. Please comment or email me if you have any thoughts about what I wrote.

Now... get back to work.

:D

-me