WHOA.

I took the kids to WIC today for our check-in. We weighed and measured Charlie, and before I really knew what was happening (read: before the dread could set in) the nurse had me shoeless and on the scale, staring down at those calibrating numbers.

I saw the number stop and my brain said: DOES NOT COMPUTE.

I had a sort of out of brain experience (not uncommon, especially when I am presented with numbers) staring at it. What number is that? That is not the number I expected.

I was still reeling and confused when she had me step off the scale. My brain is pedaling around trying to figure out what happened and finally I think to myself that I haven't seen that number since... before... SINCE BEFORE GRACE WAS BORN!!!!!!!!!

...!!!!!!

I wanted to cry. In a good way. A sort of relieved, wonderful way.

Because for the first time I have been working on this. I've been trying to exercise more regularly, for real. Until I hurt. I have been watching what I eat--choosing vegetables or yogurt and granola instead of sugar sugar sugar--and drinking lots of water. I haven't been dieting (I'm still nursing Charlie so that is a no-no) and I haven't been utterly focused on weight loss, but I have been trying to be healthy. I eat when I'm hungry, but I eat better things. When I eat fats, I eat healthier fats. (And I give myself the little wiggle room of dessert in the evening if I am dying for something chocolate, which, lets face it, I often am.)

But when I look down (or from the side in the mirror) I still have a lot of stomach left over from carrying my sweet (but enormous) baby boy. A LOT. Mostly in just that one spot, so I have a nice front-hovering muffin top. And I'll admit, that's not the easiest thing for a mama's ego, seeing that. I thought even with all the changes, I had hit a plateau, and that made me feel very discouraged.

(This picture is from a couple weeks ago, but I actually wore this same thing again today [and Charlie peed on it, actually] so just pretend it is perfectly current.)

But my little interview with the scale today made me feel really good. I am not skinny. No. I still have my fair share of cellulite and some abs that I will continue taking to the gym. But that's totally okay! I have plenty of time. What I am SO excited about is that I punched my new numbers into a BMI calculator, and it was healthy! A whole number closer to the middle of the healthy range, instead of hanging by a point-something on the edge of healthy and overweight, like it was for the past several months. That felt really good. I am so excited!