Oh How I Wish...

To be everything.

And to be good at it.

I want to be a good mommy, never get tired of book reading and diaper changing and spoon feeding. A good writer and never get bogged down with reading that makes me both want to write and feel I should give up immediately RIGHT NOW. A good wife who entirely forfeits passive aggression for reality and understands and communicates and bakes cakes for important occasions. A brave friend who is not so utterly terrified of phone conversations (what on earth?) and better at remembering to pray for more than I do. A better daughter to God with unshakable faith and secure aspirations to share the gospel because it makes us happy. Less judgmental (of myself as well), more humble, and never secretly wishing for things like a Mac desktop and a flatter tummy.

But these things will come in time, I guess. I will work for them, they will take root slowly like everything does in our weak human frames. Line upon line, precept upon precept.

And someday: patience, humility, a written and published book, communication, fresh cookies and cakes for those special and ordinary times that require such things. A Mac (yes, I'm sorry, that stays, but not secretly coveted?), bravery, thoughtfulness.

I've got a few things down, a lot in the works, and, happily eternity to work for it, and a best friend and sweetheart to push me along. Goodness, it's exhausting to be alive.